The term 'White Widow' is the name Possibility Management has adopted to distinguish the Box survival strategy #2 which uses sexual energy to control and manipulate the environment to make it safe. This is not bad. It is not good either. It has certain consequences.

As a little girl you found that if you sat in daddy’s lap and squirmed around happily in certain ways… or, as a little boy you found that if you nuzzled your mom’s body, played with her hair, flirted with her, being a 'good boy' and mixing your sexual energies… you were safe and easily got almost whatever you wanted, and less abusive attention.

Both men and women can become White Widows. The Capitalist Patriarchal Empire tends to force more women than men to take on the White Widow strategy.

Sexual energy exchange was key to your success and it became an unconscious tool woven into your survival strategy. Now you flirt without thinking it is flirting. By exchanging subtle sexual substances with others your life seems easeful and fun, although the partners you attract also probably flirt unconsciously and this could eventually bring your own flirting to your attention.

Your habitual sexual energy enmeshment with others is difficult to change because it first must be made conscious. The only real way to make it conscious is by completely stopping it. To succeed in stopping requires being in a transformational healing environment held with enough safety and clarity to navigate you through a year or more of liquid states not knowing who you are or how to relate with other people.

You are no longer 18 years old. The White Widow strategy has allowed you to survive and has now become your prison. You are using this strategy with the people you love. Sexual energy exchange, enmeshment and manipulation strategies are co-opted by your Gremlin to serve Shadow Principles and this blocks you from adult intimacy. This is devastating.

The term 'Black Widow' is the name that Possibility Management has given to the Box survival strategy of a person who has been sexually abused and has dedicated their life purpose to the shadow purpose of Revenge. Black Widows live to kill and destroy. This is an understandable, but desperate strategy.

Being sexually abused as a child can range anywhere from your mother or a babysitter playing with your penis while changing your diaper, to your brother or an uncle sneaking into your bedroom at night and touching you or raping you. Sexual abuse creates massive confusion in your Being about who you are, who to trust, who owns your body, how to make boundaries that work, what you can tell others or must keep secret under threat of great harm, and what experiences may feel good, but also actually hurt.

Sexual abuse forces you to engage in sexual energy interactions at an inappropriate time in your development. As a result, you direct your sexual energy talents to both protect yourself and also to obtain the most excruciating revenge possible. You
incorporate sexually abusing others into your survival strategy. You live in your Underworld.

A Black Widow woman typically wears skin-tight shiny-black leggings with high heels, amplifies her cleavage, and does whatever it takes to steal the attention of men in the Capitalist Patriarchal Empire and make them drool even if (especially if...) they are walking arm-in-arm with their wife. When they strut down the street or move lithely through spaces most men have already lost their center and their balls. The Black Widow uses men like a tampon, tossing them bloody into the gutter after use.

A Black Widow woman also uses sexual energy towards other women, charming them into thinking they are on the same team while secretly competing with them. The Black Widow woman will gather any evidence to kill and destroy other women and "win" the man.

The Black Widow condition is unfortunately rather final. Black Widows do not come to personal development trainings because they believe that getting revenge is all that they have to live for. They are so completely identified with the Black Widow survival strategy that they are afraid nothing else is possible. There is no ground for the Being to stand on, so initiatory processes do not work. Gremlin runs their life and will not sacrifice vengeance as its food.

Because there was unconscious sexual energy around you as a child you incorporate it into your survival strategy to a high degree but you do not dedicate your life to revenge. You do not hate the opposite sex. People spot you a mile away as sexually attractive.

They want to use you in advertising films, or to take photos of you to look at later for masturbating. People may not be able to resist looking at you. Strangers may compliment your eyes, your smile, or your laughter as a way to get your attention because even if you just glance at them it is almost enough to cause an orgasm. You may be using sex and flirtation as a way to keep your job, to keep your partner around, and to transform possible aggressors by insinuating “if you are nice to me you might get sex from me.” It works so well that sexual energy becomes a predominant characteristic of your life. You may find yourself working in some part of the entertainment or fashion industry where sexual energy is the “coin of the realm” even if your Being might have other interests.

In the case of a woman Grey Widow, she does not feel safe unless she is the sex goddess of the group. If the men don't bow down to her, she does not know how to interact with them. If other women come along, it is a "kill or compete" situation.

The Grey Widow is more human than a Black Widow but can eat White Widows for breakfast. It is the in-between case. A Grey Widow who longs for authentic life may attend personal development trainings, but need either a lot of courage or a lot of despair because learning to live without the defense strategy is a huge sacrifice.